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Nobody’s Child Anymore It begins when we are called upon to care for one of our parents and we come to the difficult realization that Mom or Dad is dying. Then, after the loss, we struggle with the pain of our grief and perhaps some unresolved issues in our relationship with our parents. We may then lose a second parent and experience the special pain of becoming an adult “orphan.” When our parents die and we are adults, we’re expected to say, “This is an appropriate death. My father or mother has lived a full life. It is their time. I’m okay with that.” But we are not okay with it; losing a parent at any age is a profound loss. Death is overwhelming. Before I could adjust to losing one the other was gone. I didn’t just lose my parents; my mother was my best friend. Grieving is normal and it takes time. Some say two years or more when we lose someone special. The effects of death are devastating, but to grieve is normal and the depth of our pain varies among us. The funeral is the beginning of your healing. You will be involved in selecting the service, planning the funeral, choosing a place of burial, if this has not been previously ar