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What do I really, really, really want? I want to be with a wandering focus, to concentrate on what intrigues me; but when it bores me I want to be free to explore tangents. I want to live deliberately without obligation. I want intellectual stimulation, direction and work, but also the freedom to change directions and alter my work as necessary. I want to observe the world, absorb the world and be the world; to see everything, appreciate everything and bask in the commonality and greatness of all things. I want love. I want freedom. I want the intangible to be made actual. I want respect from all who I know and veneration from no one. I want to get out of the rat race. St. John¡¦s offers a way of life that at first glance seems atypical, but upon further examination becomes necessary for the mind and heart. I have chosen St. John¡¦s after much careful thought and reflection. I cherish an uncluttered existence filled with peaceful hours, unfettered silence, waves of contentment and the pacifying of my desire to learn and think great thoughts.. I want to lose my ego and keep my confidence. I want to see the earth with my eyes and the world with my mind. I want to enjoy luxury without guilt and face minimalism with contentment.