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My name is Shorty. I'm a short brown dog; my people weren't very original when they decided to name me about eleven years ago. I am their second dog, a dumb cocker spaniel arrived about a week before I did and the little girl named him Alexander Handsome. What a horrible name for such an ugly dog. I'd be so ashamed to have that name if I were him. The little boy did me proud, he gave me a simple name that described me, though Shorty Handsome would have been a better description. Life hasn't been dull living Alex. Alex thinks I am the greatest dog alive. He follows me everywhere and trusts me with his life, his first two mistakes. You see, when I get bored, Alex is my prime source of amusement. He is almost completely blind making my missions to torment him very easy. In our younger days, I found it very annoying to have Alex follow me everywhere. “How can I get him to leave me alone?” I wondered. One warm and sunny day I wanted to go outside and sit in the sun alone, but no, Alex had to follow me. I told him I wanted to be alone. That should have been a good enough warning, but the dumb dog didn't listen. He followed me outside so I began “Operation Ditch Alex”. I started running in the yard and true to form,